What hurts the most

Sometimes it just hits me like a brick. I'm in Uganda, and have been for almost 2 months. And during these 2 months, I've been a teacher, a friend, a student, a rainy day entertainer, a playmate, a nurse(I'll explain later)... but at the same time, I've had to see things that break my heart, and have left a big mark in my life. I've had to comfort 2 little girls who are ill with Malaria, I've had to buy food for a little girl who's stomach was "paining" her because of hunger and lunch wasn't ready, and I've seen children running around with no clothes on. Now, some people might think I'm complaining about the things I've seen, or that I'm growing tired of some of the challenges. But that's simply not true.

This morning, Christine, Kelsey and I took Ian, a P2 student, to see a nearby doctor because he has a serious wound on his leg from spilling hot porridge on himself a few days ago. After having an injection, ointment applied, and medicine prescribed, we walked back to the school. And then, Christine was telling us that Anisha (P3) is his sister, and his caregiver for the time being. Their mother is currently working in Kampala, and won't be returning for about a year. So that leaves a 3rd grader as the primary caregiver for a her brother, who is in 2nd grade... Is it just me, or does something sound off in this situation?? I want so badly to take care of them until their mother returns, but I don't have enough time left here to do so.

An hour or so later, we made our way back to the doctor with Ritah and Prossy, who were both complaining of headaches. Come to find out, both girls have Malaria. Ritah's temp was very low, while Prossy's was high. After some injections, more prescribed medicine, and orders to come back after school and before school tomorrow for another injection, we went back to the school, where both girls layed down to rest. They seem to be feeling a little better, but they aren't over the hill yet.

Then, after thinking we were done with our "excitement" for the day, Anisha starts complaining of a stomachache. Christine gave her some medicine, but her stomach pain did not go away. Then she said that her stomach pain was because of hunger(common problem). So Christine and I(along with her ADORABLE son, Elvis) walked down the hill to buy Anisha a snack, because Lunch wasn't even close to being ready. Anisha ended up with 2 biscuits and a banana... enough to hold her over until lunch.

As I sat in the office eating lunch this afternoon, I looked around and saw Ian, Ritah, Prossy, and Anisha, smiling and coloring, along with Jessica, Shakira, Marvin, Vicky, and the other Ritah(These  5 kids aren't sick but just wanted to spend time with their friends). And as I listened to the sound of the heavy rain on the church's tin roof, I thanked God for putting smiles back on these beautiful faces that I love so much. But my heart still longs to do more for them. That's what hurts the most. Knowing that Ritah and Prossy still need to be cure of their Malaria. Knowing that Anisha and Ian's mother won't be home for a year. Knowing that most of these children live in such extreme cases of poverty. Knowing that we're only their teachers for 2 more days... But I'm going to give up control. I'm gonna let go, and let God take the wheel. And really, he's been in control this whole time.

I don't know what else to say to these children when we leave, other than
Nkkwagala ("I Love You" in Luganda)